Wednesday, August 09, 2006

More than words...

Again, I have had a lot of trouble around here because I am not always sure about what the words really mean. Is not that I can not understand English (because my mother language is Spanish), is because sometimes I fell like people just "talk".

If I say somebody after a nice invitation... "ok I'll meet you for lunch on Wednesday" I think that is perfectly clear, so why the person has to call Wednesday morning to ask if it is ok to go to the swimming pool??? Now is not going to be lunch and not swimming pool either.

Here, in London, has happened to me more than once. People say something and then do another thing. And to make things worst you never know if you are rude or what, when you want to reach people to say things. I have never felt so insecure before about new relationships.
Here I live with my sister, that's good, she know me, and is there for me. I have one girl friend to go out with, and have nice conversations... but... not like philosophical stuff. Sometimes I hate that absurd necessity that I have to be transcendent. To talk about deep cultural roots and our role in this moving universe... that's all.. I miss my very best friends in America: Juango, Mayaya in Bogotá D.C, Cristina in Caracas, Enrique in New York, Monica and Jairo in Santa Marta.

Try to understand other cultures communication forms make me crazy. I know this japanese guy that I like a lot. I think he's smart, brilliant and cute. But...we couldn't stand for an evening together!!!! Like if you can not find the real question, or the real answer. Is like something's missing. (the words? something behind the words?)Some how is a bad thing to be single because you can not expect to find a good partner, pal, a guy you can just call to talk or go around for a coffee with, while together try to find the best way just to "save the world".

And that "save the world" is really... communicate the world (or the real word). If that can be possible maybe we can do a real change for good. The sentence I can say for that is: “ What you say has to be what you really mean”